Armageddon

Pain!

I have to admit that Armageddon is funny. It's so painfully bad that it's funny! Every line of dialogue, every second of action, every overdone sound effect, every wasted shred of acting talent, it's funny. Watching Deep Impact was infinitely worse because it was so dull. This at least was open to significant mocking.

One of the great tragedies of the movie is the list of actors who lent their skills to such an undeserving project. Given the box office success, though, they're laughing all the way to the bank. Before 1998 ended, the US gross topped $200,000,000. This may pay off in allowing the better cast members to take on less profitable projects. I hope so! Steve Buscemi, Peter Stormare, and Ben Affleck in particular have shown themselves as capable of much more.

Assault

The action in Armageddon (is there anything else?) is very loud. Most plot exposition is accompanied by explosions. When things aren't directly exploding, the camera is shaking and bouncing and cutting in such a way that coherence flies out the window and any impression of how things are proceeding is lost. It's no way to make a movie, especially one clocking in at over two hours.

Nitpicking

• One of the funniest moments for me was Harry, the Bruce Willis character, flabbergasted that NASA had recreated one of his drills. He asks if they stole "the key to the patent office". Since US patents are available to download from the net with graphics and everything intact, I found this a particularly laughable line.
• If memory serves, and I refuse to go back to confirm it, the announcement of the asteroid shows it being received live all around the world, and it's daylight everywhere. If anyone wants to correct me or confirm this, I'd appreciate it.